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Monday, 3 February 2020


If you are a Nigerian parent reading this article, there is a 90% chance that you are guilty of at least 5 of the things I have listed in this piece. I hope that this article will quicken your heart and steer you towards better parenting.

We generally complain about how things have become worse among the younger generation today, but the truth is that most of the vices they embrace these days could have been better managed if they had better parenting. Gone are the days when Nollywood made us believe that it was the children of the rich that were the spoilt ones. Today, background does not matter anymore. Almost everyone now identifies as a “Marlian”.

Through this article, I will be showing some of the things Nigerian parents do to hurt their children psychologically, emotionally and even physically. All of which culminates into the decadence we now see everywhere, further amplified by the media.

1. The average Nigerian parents do not have time for their children, no time for genuine intimacy and connection with their kids until they do something wrong. If you only really try to spend time with your children when they have gotten into trouble, you are doing parenting the wrong way. Prevention is always better than sacrifice. You do not need to wait till they have gone astray before you start sacrificing time for them.

2. The average Nigerian parents rather gossip with their kids about their neighbours or relatives than talk about sex education or emotional independence. Many Nigerian parents have a way of teaching their children a bad culture and habit of intolerance, bias and certain evil dogmas when such time could be used for more important life matters that can help the children in the future. The seeds we sow in the lives of the younger ones usually grow to become giant trees that can be difficult to uproot.

3. The average Nigerian parents hardly mentor their children about life, but can be quick to judge and condemn. In fact they are the ones responsible for their children's low self-esteem and insecurities. The way they go about their destructive criticisms is what has made most people generally embrace the idea of being a Marlian today. Everything our parents thought they tried to ‘beat’ us from doing are the things we now embrace with joy today.

4. The average Nigerian parents would rather force their children to attend church activities than allow them attend seminars and skill acquisition programs. God is important and many parents would love to see their children serve God, but they pay little mind to the more important needs of life. And that is the ability to make a living by developing relevant skills. The overzealousness of many Nigerian parents towards religion is what is making a lot of their children run from the same religion. This is more common among Christians.

5. The average Nigerian parents are responsible for the most ludicrous dogmas affecting the young generation today. They spread myths such as “School is the only way to survive” and would crucify their children for failing to make good grades. They forget that every child is unique and we won’t all walk the same path in life. They call you a failure even before outsiders would think of the world. Nigerian parents also spread the wrong myth about the male child being of more value than the female. Many of them would be the first to insinuate that the girl child would end up in the kitchen and as such they promote gender based roles and make the girl child feel inferior, seeing herself as a property to the male folks. They even tell her that endurance of all kinds of bad treatment is virtue onto her, further destroying the self-esteem of the girl child.

A lot of Nigerian parents are killing their children in the name of discipline. The earlier they are called to order, the better for the younger generation. Ours may have been a faulty generation because of the mistakes of our parents, but if you are a parent with young children and you are reading this, it’s an opportunity to make things right.

I hope you will.

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