Saturday, 22 August 2015
MANS P*NIS NEARLY EXPLODES AFTER INJECTING VIAGRA
A man's penis nearly exploded when he injected it with 'Viagra'.The terrified victim who wants to remains anonymous had to have 'stupendous amounts' of blood pumped from his manhood after his lusty experiment went horribly wrong.However, he has vowed to do it again once he recovers.
The 31 year old Lothario narrated his
shocking tale on social media site Reddit.
His story began when he and his wife, 27, decided to try swinging - and enjoyed it thoroughly.
But the budding love god had a problem - his stamina didn't match his ambition.
"I got a little greedy.I saw a urologist and told him I had erectile dysfunction.He prescribed various pills.But none of them had the desired effect."So the next step was injections straight into the side of the penis," he said."I called it Viagra in the post title, but actually it's called TriMix."Same effect though."I initially balked at the idea."
Initially things were going well, but when it was time to stop, he encountered a problem.
"And that's where things got dicey.I started pouring cold water over it. Nothing.I took four Sudafed pills (as suggested online when you get an out-of-control erection). Nothing.I started exercising major muscle groups, doing endless sets of push-ups, pull-ups, squats, etc. (also recommended online, in order to divert the blood). Nothing.Three hours in, it was starting to really hurt...and I was starting to panic.Knowing that the medication came with a warning that prolonged erections lasting longer than four hours require emergency medical attention, I rushed to the ER.Telling the elderly Hispanic woman in triage what happened wasn't fun.
I was writhing in pain at this point, and...was so sensitive and painful, I could not walk and required a wheelchair because the sensation of it rubbing against my shorts as I walked was incredibly painful.Yes, I was awkwardly covering up my erection the entire time.Eventually I got wheeled into a room.I got two full doses of morphine before I calmed down a bit. 40 minutes later, a team of doctors and nurses came in.The resident doctor was a young, cute Indian woman who - unlike the others in the room who tried very hard to act serious - read me and the situation better and made it pretty clear that she thought this was all pretty hilarious and cheered me up immediately, by turns making fun of me and being very vaguely flirtatious.Eventually they got a butterfly needle and proceeded to extract a STUPENDOUS amount of blood...as the doctors took turns squeezing.Needless to say, I'll be doing this again, starting at a third of the first dosage."